Yes, Thank You

I once received some really great advice from a wiser woman at church. I don't remember the exact circumstances that brought about the dispensing of this advice, but what it boiled down to was this: Women (and girls) when a man (or boy) offers you help you should say "Yes, thank you" and let him help. Now this is something I still struggle with, but let me tell you why this is such great advice.

First, let me help you understand where I'm coming from. I was raised in a time when the idea "I am woman, hear me roar" was pretty common. I had all brothers, so I always felt the need to prove myself. Therefore, I could be walking with a load that was 10 times too heavy for me, facing three doors to open, and if a guy offered me help my response was "No thanks, I got it." Or at least, that was my response if I was being kind. Usually it was much more snarky and had an edge that said "what, you think I'm weak, I'll so you!" I never really thought of this as a problem, I was only hurting myself by refusing the help. Then I got this advice.

Men don't always offer to help, but when they do women need to let them. Now later I'll talk about a few specific examples/exceptions, but here is why women need to add "yes, thank you" to their vocabulary. If he asks, and you keep saying no, HE'S GOING TO STOP ASKING! That doesn't just apply to asking you though, that can apply to all women all the time. So let's say I'm walking through the halls of my school and I have my arms full and a few of the young gentlemen offer to help, my answer needs to be "yes, thank you" for the sake of their future wives. If a man asks 5 women if he can help and 5 times he hears "no, I got it" then when that 6th woman, who could really use a hand, walks by he won't bother asking to avoid being rejected again. It was hearing it put this way that changed my thinking. Sure, maybe I don't absolutely need help, but if there is a man (or boy) offering, my answer should be "yes, thank you", and I need to mean it.

Here are some exceptions:

• If you are in a sketchy situation, or the guy is creepy and you don't feel comfortable. First, try to avoid this situations. Second, always put safety first.
• If you are carrying something that is very important and you would just really not be comfortable with someone else carrying it. That doesn't mean you say "no, thank you" but you might ask the man to get the door for you or do something else to assist you.
• If you are 2 feet away from your destination I think it is reasonable to say "no", but you want to make sure you let them know you appreciate the offer. 

So, ladies, the next time a man offers to help, for the sake of all women every where and to prove that chivalry is not dead, say "yes, thank you" and enjoy the extra hand. 

Now, as for getting these men to offer, that is for someone else to tackle! :)

Keep it real friends,

HP